I Promised Not to Tell
A must read for a parent, relative or friend of a gender questioning or transgender person. I Promised Not to Tell is a deeply personal and emotional parenting memoir told by the mother of a transgender child. This book will benefit anyone who would like to learn more about transgenderism. Honest, moving and well written, you will not be disappointed!
"I Promised Not to Tell is quite possibly one of the most important books to date on a very controversial and little understood social issue: transgenderism. If you are facing such a situation with your child, I urge you to read this book. Both you and your child need what Cheryl has so kindly shared with readers and parents. And when you do, I’m sure you will come away impressed not just by the courage shown by Jordan in this book, but by the love Cheryl and her husband have for their children and their compassion for all people. I loved I Promised Not to Tell. Couldn't put it down. Highly recommended reading." ~ Viga Boland
Together, Mom and her husband raised their children telling them: "You can be anything and do anything you want in life." They just never expected that what their youngest daughter would desire most in the world, was to be a boy.
What is unique about this story is that it follows one transgender child from birth through age eighteen. You get a real sense of what this family went through. Their son's desperate effort to comply to societal gender norms, a suicide attempt, a family members struggle with God and transgerderism, a heart breaking death and much more. Every step of their son's transition from female to male (FTM) is discussed in detail, including hormone replacement therapy and sex reassignment surgeries. This book shares it all in the hopes of making a difference in what seems like a harsh and cruel world for transgender people.
In the beginning, transgender was not even on this mother's radar. There was so much to learn. She went from knowing nothing at all about the subject to becoming significantly more knowledgeable. She partook in a journey of learning that evolved into one of self discovery for her as much as for her transgender child. There were valuable lessons and gifted blessings along the way. There were also times of great heartache and pain. Mom was strengthened, she was tested, she wept and she prayed and in the end, she survived as did her transgender child.
The journey this family took is spelled out in the pages of this book in the hope that it offers encouragement, support and wisdom to others who may have found themselves on a similar path. Mom shares many of the resources she used along her own family’s journey and extends to you a friendship that goes far beyond the pages of this book.
This is a uniquely written and thought provoking true story which transitions beautifully between the family’s personal journey and some of the larger societal issues that face the transgender community today.
Even if you don't know a transgender person, this book will make you feel as if you do. Maybe you have been curious about this topic and looking for a book that can share honest and intimate details on the subject. If so, this book will certainly do that for you.
Coming out as a transgender person can be challenging. This book could be an excellent way to introduce the topic to parents and loved ones. Perhaps helping to pave the way to acceptance and understanding.
Thank you for taking the time to consider the book "I Promised Not to Tell ~ Raising a transgender child".
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About Cheryl B. Evans
I'd like to introduce myself and say hello to you. My name is Cheryl and I am married with two wonderful children, a daughter Mariah and a son Jordan. Jordan happens to be transgender (assigned female at birth). To offer you a little background, Jordan was presumed to be a tomboy for the early part of his life up until about puberty. My husband and I were ignorant to the fact transgender children even existed at the time so just accepted our daughter with all her boyish tendencies. However, around age 12 things took a turn we were not prepared for.
Jordan decided to try desperately to fit into society’s binary role of female, an experiment that didn't go well to say the least. After some challenging times, he finally told my husband and me he was transgender at age 12. Thankfully, today, he is a healthy, happy and well adjusted 18 year old. The road to today was not always an easy one and along our journey I realized just how hard some children have it. How so many families turn their own children away.
Along our journey we fought hurtful religious ignorance and my daughter struggled the most with accepting that her younger sister was becoming her brother. It may even interest you to know that my son and I, through perseverance and dedication got Ontario to change the law at the end of 2014 to allow minors to be able to change the gender marker on their birth certificate.
To help me deal with the changes that were happening in our family I wrote - a lot. I documented our entire journey of helping our daughter become our son. The doctors, the hormones, the surgeries and in the end I realized I'd written the book I wish I had when Jordan came out to me. In the end in my own effort to help other families to know they are not alone and to help the transgender community as a whole I decided (with my son's blessing) to publish our story. I changed all our names to help protect my son as his deepest wish is to only be known as a regular teenage boy. My book I Promised Not to Tell - Raising a transgender child was released on July 15, 2016. Here's a link to where you can learn more and read some testimonials:
https://www.amazon.com/Promised-Not-Tell-Raisi…/…/0995180717
I sincerely hope it will help someone following
this page and perhaps help to change society’s often harsh view of this community. Feel free to check it out or share this post with anyone you feel could be helped by it. It was written over almost three years and the result is our family's deeply personal and emotional journey to discovering the son we never knew we had. If you have any questions for me don't hesitate to ask. I can't promise to have all the answers but will opening share anything I think could make your own journey just a little bit easier.
With love, and blessing, Cheryl.
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