Monday, March 23, 2015

Barbara Roba, author of 'Building Blocks of Positive Parenting,' on children who do not listen

When Children Don't Listen

A child who does not listen to their parents, teachers, or other authority figures is one of the most common parenting concerns out there. Listening and actually doing what one is told are two very different things. We can listen to the words coming out of someone’s mouth, but that doesn’t mean that we will act on those words. The action part is a choice. In this case, it is the choice of your children.

As parents, we would like our children to always choose to act upon our requests in an appropriate manner. Reality quickly pulls us back when we encounter daily struggles in this area. Whether your child is not paying attention to you, is being defiant, or doesn’t seem motivated, you continue to be highly interested in them listening.

My book lists 29 interventions in the section of "Does Not Listen" I have listed four of them here:

1. Check that your child understands what you are saying. Do this by asking questions such as “What did I ask you to do?” or “Tell me what you heard me say.”

2. Begin counting to three when your child does not listen after one reminder or warning. If you get to the count of three, it means that your child should receive a pre-established negative consequence, such as a time-out. Much of the time, you will find that you will only have to say “one” and your child will begin to follow through with your request. Tip: Your child must be aware of the process and know what will happen if you get to three before you try
the counting method.

3. Use eye contact each time you and your child speak to each other. This helps to make sure you have their attention.

4. Remove all possible distractions when talking with your child. Turn the television off, no one else should be talking, you should not be texting, you should not be multitasking, etc. I know it is hard, but give it a try.

Want more tips? Check out her book 'Building Blocks of Positive Parenting':


The book that parents wish their children were born with is here!Do you wonder what to do when your child refuses to listen to you? Do you wish your child wasn't so defiant? Is there a way to quell tantrums? Do you know how positive discipline can make your life easier as a parent? In The Building Blocks of Positive Parenting, Barb answers each of these questions and much more with easy to understand explanations, tips, plans, and interventions than can be put into place today!

Most parents have very busy lives and don't have the time or energy to spend reading parenting books cover to cover. The best part of The Building Blocks of Positive Parenting is that you don't have to read the whole book to see changes in your child. In the first few chapters, you will easily learn the foundations to positive parenting. From there, you take control and get to pick and choose from behaviors specific to your child. Doing so will allow for a targeted approach instead of having to weed through information that has nothing to do with your child and family. Given our fast-paced world, this book is a refreshing and easy-to-use tool to encourage positive change.

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Barb Roba is a licensed mental health counselor and has earned a masters degree along with her Certificate of Advanced study in school counseling. Her area of expertise is found working with young children and their families to develop positive parenting and behavior management techniques. Barb is a mother of two boys. She currently works as an elementary school counselor and provides online mental health therapy to clients.

Find her on Facebook and on Twitter.

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