Review of Special Ed Survival Guide by Bonnie Landau

Welcome to the book tour for Special Ed Mom Survival Guide by Bonnie Landau. This is a cause that is very near and dear to my heart, so when presented with the opportunity to review the book, I jumped on it. Please read on for more information about Bonnie and the book, as well as my thoughts and opinions. While I did receive a complimentary copy of the book, I was not influenced by this as I was crafting my review.

Also note that affiliate links are present within this post. Should you make a purchase through one, I may earn a small commission to help support my websites at no additional cost to you.

Special Ed Mom Survival Guide

“Your son’s brain function is severely abnormal. I would recommend you begin saving for his group home care as an adult.”

Any mom would be crushed by this dire pessimistic prediction, but Bonnie did not let this UCLA neuropsychologist’s edict determine her son’s fate. Combining relentless determination with research, learning and in-depth discussions with professionals, Bonnie found ways to help him progress from ‘severely abnormal’ to honor roll student.

In the Special Ed Mom Survival Guide, Bonnie leads you through the vital steps necessary to survive as a Special Ed Mom. From learning how to manage the emotional overwhelm, to figuring out how to get the school to say yes, Bonnie presents a roadmap that leads you through this confusing obstacle course. Sharing tried and true methods, Bonnie teaches you to find your own inner compass so you can gain the ability and confidence to make decisions that bring results for your child. Based on personal and professional experience, Bonnie will help you to:

• Create the Right Mindset
• Take Care of Yourself
• Take Care of Your Child
• Understand the Special Ed Process
• Take Charge of the Special Ed Process

“If only I had had a guide to help me navigate all the challenges,” Bonnie says. “Then I could have focused more on my child and less on learning how to get help.” Every Special Ed Mom needs this guide to help make the journey easier!

**My thoughts**

I have to preface this review by saying that I spent 20 years working as an educator in Montessori schools. When starting my career, I only had maybe one child a year who required an IEP or other special considerations. The year that I left, over 3/4 of my class was on an IEP, even though I had a "typical" classroom and not a special ed classroom. My background is early childhood education, though I did pursue coursework as a special ed minor, plus have done a lot of independent study over the years. Though I am no longer in the classroom, I continue to work with the special needs community via private respite care. I also have numerous friends who are Special Ed Moms and Dads. So as I was reading through this book, I was looking at all of it with sort of both hats on.

When I started reading, my gut instinct was to bristle at the revelation that Bonnie's son was failed so much by professionals in the field. These ranged from professionals working on diagnoses (or actually failing to consider diagnoses) to numerous failures on the part of the schools as well. I get angry when I hear how professionals are not your friend in the special ed world. But I also have to remember to not take it personally. I think I am one of those few people who actually took on each case individually and fought for each child's individual needs. Part of that was from my background as a Montessori child and educator. Part of that is from my personality. And then I remember the people that I worked with and against over the years. Unfortunately, there is a large part of the population who doesn't understand special needs. There is also a lot of bureaucracy going on in that world that prevents people from giving all of the assistance that they would like to give if they could, but their hands are tied. Because I taught at a private school, I often had to visit numerous districts in one school year as I reported to the IEP meetings for my various students. I saw a lot of differences between all of them. I even got to the point with one chair who made a comment that she appreciated how I fought for the kids and how she hated how her hands were so tied.

I say all of this because Bonnie does throw an awful lot of information in your direction. She shares the good, the bad, and the ugly of navigating the special ed process in the schools. While the beginning of the book does feel like it is coming after the professionals a bit, I really appreciated how in the later chapters, she explains how and why a lot of the schools approach it differently, based on district or individual behavior. She delineates some of the challenges that teachers face that make it difficult to always do the right thing, but also clearly explains when a teacher is simply not being compliant. She does the same for individual schools as well as districts. 

There is a lot of technical jargon that goes on in these meetings. I remember often apologizing to parents before writing up an evaluation or going into a meeting, saying that the words they were going to hear may seem harsh. But if you don't use the right words, you can't trigger certain services. I also apologized to them for how it would seem like we were only going to focus on the negatives with the child. But we, as the invested teacher and the parents, knew all of those positives and would continue to embrace them. Bonnie really gets into this, as well as clear explanations of all of that jargon, the programs, and the various pieces of legislation that enter into the special ed world. It's hard to learn all of these. Even as an educator, one has to go back and review them frequently. 

The beginning of the book does focus a lot on self care of the special ed parent. While the book is mainly focused on the mom, as she is the one who inevitably bears most of the burden, there is a section for dads, written by a Special Ed Dad. Moms and dads do approach the family differently, but both can benefit from reading through the self care tips and advice on how to navigate other family members and friends and finding support within the community. 

I have numerous friends from my work in this field who definitely struggle in the self care realm. So many techniques are provided in here, as well as numerous links for more support and information. I think this is paramount to being a Special Ed Mom. As Eddie Vedder once said in an interview, "You can't save someone from drowning if you're barely treading water yourself." It's so important to figure out which techniques work best for you. 

Another great aspect of this book is the pensive questions that are at the end of each chapter. She also includes a few quizzes to help you figure out where you stand in some situations or in some aspects of your own personality, and then gives you tips to work with that. For these sections, I would love to see an accompanying workbook or journal. I also recommend that parents who purchase this book get the paperback copy, so that they can quickly flip back and forth as needed and can make appropriate notes in the margins. Get it on Kindle so that you can take it with you to read while waiting in line or something, but then also take advantage of writing out thoughts.

This is not an easy book to get through quickly. You're not going to sit down and digest this information in a quick afternoon. You may have to take it one chapter a day or even one chapter a week, and slowly make your way through it. Pick and choose the sections that you need right now. If you're getting ready to go into IEP meetings, focus on that area first. If you're in that more down time, focus on the self care. But be sure to go through the whole thing.

I also want educators and other professionals to read this book. I took note of some rules that I know districts and even my own school had tried to dance around. I knew an awful lot while I was working in the schools and had wonderful resources at my disposal. But even then, it's possible to forget bits and pieces. I also think it is important for professionals to read about the parent's point-of-view when it comes to the overwhelming task of accepting the diagnosis of your child and figuring out how you are going to work with the child. I think it will help you to be even more sympathetic as you are working with these families.

Buy on Amazon

About Bonnie Landau

Bonnie has spent the better part of 25 years as a graphic designer and artist. Always a lover of psychology and the forces that influence behavior, it was a natural transition for her to begin working to resolve her oldest son’s special education challenges. When he was six, a neuropsychologist said he was beyond help, and to plan for his group home care as an adult. Bonnie could not accept that nothing could be done, and she set on a path to find solutions to help her son. He is now an honor student and destined to live a typical life.

Having been through the special ed system as a mom, and now as a advocate and counselor, she saw the need for support for the parents who carry this challenging burden. She has helped parents who struggle with districts who refused services, and she has coached parents in finding ways help their child succeed against the odds. Bonnie knows the fear a mother feels when her child’s future is uncertain, and that is why she chose to shift her life focus into educational consulting. She has a thriving practice as an educational consultant and advocate for parents who find themselves struggling with the special education journey.

She is the author of Special Ed Mom Survival Guide: How to prevail in the special ed process while discovering life-long strategies for both you and your child. She is also the creator of Grounded for Life: 52 Exercises for Daily Grounding, and co-author of Same Journey, Different Paths: Stories of Auditory Processing Disorder. She has a masters in educational counseling and another in spiritual psychology. Her bachelors degree is in architecture. She lives in Ventura County, California with her husband, two boys and their two furry felines.

Find out more:

www.SpecialMomAdvocate.com / / Facebook / Twitter / Pinterest / Instagram / linkedin / Google Plus

Follow the Book Tour

Touretters by Chris Mason & Members of the TS Community

Touretters

Tourette’s Syndrome is a hereditary condition that causes acute, uncontrollable muscle spasm (ticcing) and uncontrollable verbal outbursts in more than 250,000 people in North America. It is one of the least known, least understood, most undiagnosed and misdiagnosed conditions in North America today. It affects all races and ethnicities. There is no known cure, though therapies and some medications have been known to lessen its affects. Some conditions lessen as people age and some worsen.

Here for the first time is a collection of short stories written by members of the Tourette’s community –Touretters- People living with it and their family members who support them. This collection was the idea of Chris Mason, who collected the stories and who also has Tourette’s. Many of the authors have chosen to remain anonymous. Sensitivity to TS has lagged behind the perception of those with other debilitating conditions. The stories are touching, powerful, maddening, and filled with enough lessons to begin to enlighten us all about Tourette’s Syndrome.

Available on Amazon

Read an excerpt:

With The Blink Of An Eye

I came into this world by way of c-section, as an eight pound baby boy, after my mom had endured twenty difficult hours of labor. The doctor who delivered me left a scar on my temple, when he accidentally squeezed the forceps that he used to pry me from my mother’s womb, too tightly. It is a mark that has not gone away. Neither have the two disorders that have plagued me for most of my life.

I had never heard of Tourette Syndrome when I was diagnosed at age twenty. I started having symptoms of it at the age of six. For the fourteen years in between I wondered what was wrong with me and why I wasn’t like other people. When I was diagnosed I now I knew why I shrugged my shoulders, blinked my eyes many times in a row over and over, swallowed, jutted my arms out to the sides, grinded my teeth, bit my fingernails so far down until they bled, bit the insides of my cheeks until they bled, cleared my throat, grunted, stuttered, scrunched up my face, coughed forcefully, etc. Tourettes was the reason. I didn’t want to do these things, but my mind made me.

I had never been very good at studying before, but I had always been able to when I really put my mind to it. During junior year that was even impossible. The first time I sat down at my desk to do homework that year I absolutely could not do it. It started with me becoming distracted by everything in and around my desk each time I sat down to do homework. I tried doing it at different times and in different parts of the house, but nothing worked.

About a month later I also began having horrible symptoms of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. OCD first showed itself in me in the form of making me think about making lists and being obsessed with certain numbers. When it began, an idea would pop into my head. Then, I would spend the next two or three hours writing down everything I could think of that was related to that subject. If I started thinking about cars, for instance, I would get out a piece of paper and write down every make and model of every car I could think of. If I started thinking about professional basketball teams, I would jot the names of every team and players on them, until I couldn’t think of anymore. No topic was off limits. Whatever came into my mind would be written down on paper and consume my thoughts for hours.

Later on I became obsessed with numbers. I started counting up to whatever number was my new favorite each time I did a daily activity. Most people would do things, like brushing their hair, until they thought it looked good. I had to brush mine well past that. Even if my hair looked good, I had to continue on. I would get stuck on a number for months. Then, all of a sudden, I would become obsessed with another number for several months. The numbers were always odd and consisted of having the same number multiple times. The numbers 77, 111, and 333 were some of my favorites. If the number that I was stuck on was 111, for example, I would make sure I did every daily activity I did during that time, no less and no more than 111 times each time I did them. Things like brushing my teeth, brushing my hair, and running my hands through my hair while shampooing it, each had to be done exactly 111 times. It had to add up to exactly 111, or it didn’t feel right. If I ever miscounted I had to start over and count again. I knew that it wasn’t normal and that it would have sounded crazy to anyone I told, but I couldn’t help it. I didn’t know why I was doing these things, but I had to do them. My mind made me.

Halfway through that school year, after having had the horrible obsessive thoughts, where I made lists and obsessed over numbers, another variance of OCD appeared. Up until then I had either made lists or obsessed over numbers. I had done one or the other and had never done both of them at the same time. During the middle of the school year both of them combined to make to make my life a living hell. I would begin by getting a thought in my head, just like I had done before. I would then start making a list and I would not stop thinking about that topic until I had written down as many items as the number that I was obsessed with at the time. It was easy to think of more than the number I was obsessed with, especially when that number was low. When the number I was obsessed with was a high number and a topic that I did not know much about entered my brain, I was in deep trouble. Many times, when that happened, I would be up until the early morning hours, trying to think of enough things to write down on my paper. If I thought of them I would go to bed. If I couldn’t think of them I would stay up until I did, sometimes all night. If I just tried to forget about my list and go to sleep, thoughts about the list would overwhelm me. At that point I would have to get up out of bed and work on the list until I was finished or until it was time to go to school. There were many times, after staying up all night, where my brain would be so exhausted that it would just shut off. That was the only time I ever got a decent amount of sleep for three years straight. I would usually forget about making the lists while I was at school or when I was doing things that I enjoyed. I pretty much only made lists when I was bored, alone, or doing something I didn’t enjoy. I made lists and obsessed over numbers in the same way, every time I was in any of those three situations, every day for three years. I was constantly having obsessive thoughts, or thinking about having obsessive thoughts.

I am now taking medication for both disorders. I will probably be on medication for life. The medication gets rid of the tics, but it also has many side effects. I am constantly tired and groggy and I can’t think straight. The best way to describe being on this medication is that it is like having a bad hangover. I have had that hangover every second of every day for the past twenty-three years. When I tell people what it was like before I started taking medication and what my life is like now almost everyone tells me that it sounds like being on medication is worse than not being on it. Those people cannot possibly comprehend what it was like have thoughts and feelings of doing things I didn’t want to do and thinking about things I didn’t want to think about every waking second of every day. Unless those people have lived as I have lived and walked in my shoes there is no way they can come close to understanding what I have been through and what I go through every day.

Even though I have had a very hard life I still have hope. I have a lot of hobbies. I have taken singing lessons with a few different instructors and they have each told me that I show promise. I have also come up with a number of inventions, that I know have never been thought of before. I have been told promising things about many of them too. I have also written the lyrics to a number of songs, which have been recorded by a professional, although, not well-known, musician. I have also been told that I am good at writing stories and poetry.

Even if none of my hobbies ever make any money or if I never have a great job, I will be okay with the way my life has turned out. I have been a swim coach and swim instructor for over twenty years. That means that I have taught over two thousand children how to swim or swim better. I have been a volunteer soccer coach for twelve years, which means that I have taught over two hundred children how to play soccer or play it better. I may be being naïve, but that’s well over two thousand kids whose lives I have had a chance to influence, and teach things that they will always remember. I don’t care what anyone else thinks except me and I think that is priceless.

About Chris Mason

My name is Chris Mason. I live in San Francisco, CA. I have Tourette syndrome and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. This is a new edition of my first book. My first book (Touretties) was published in 2011. It is an anthology that includes twenty-one true short stories, including my own, about people who have or have a family member who has Tourette syndrome and its associated disorders. My autobiograpy (What Makes Me Tic: Living With Tourette Syndrome) was published as an ebook in 2013. I have also written a children’s picture book that includes four stories, written in the authors’ own words, about what is like having Tourette syndrome as a child, which will be published later this year. I have also written a full-length non-fiction book about my experiences coaching youth soccer, which will also be published later this year. I am currently working on two other children’s picture books and my first work of fiction, which I am hoping to have published next year.

'The Building Blocks of Positive Parenting' by Barbara Roba, Ed.M., CAS, LMHC

Blurb:

The book that parents wish their children were born with is here!Do you wonder what to do when your child refuses to listen to you? Do you wish your child wasn't so defiant? Is there a way to quell tantrums? Do you know how positive discipline can make your life easier as a parent? In The Building Blocks of Positive Parenting, Barb answers each of these questions and much more with easy to understand explanations, tips, plans, and interventions than can be put into place today!

Most parents have very busy lives and don't have the time or energy to spend reading parenting books cover to cover. The best part of The Building Blocks of Positive Parenting is that you don't have to read the whole book to see changes in your child. In the first few chapters, you will easily learn the foundations to positive parenting. From there, you take control and get to pick and choose from behaviors specific to your child. Doing so will allow for a targeted approach instead of having to weed through information that has nothing to do with your child and family. Given our fast-paced world, this book is a refreshing and easy-to-use tool to encourage positive change.

Read an excerpt:

The handbook that you always wished you had begins right here, right now. 

At the cornerstone of parenting there are several things to keep in mind when raising your children. These “must-know” items are separated into the following categories:

-Foundational skills
-Communication
-Behavior
-Intervention

It is your job to shelter your children from the ills of the world and then to finally set the record straight by educating them on what they are seeing and how that impacts the expectations that have been set for them.

This may sound strange, but it is true: the best time to inter- vene in your child’s misbehavior is when the misbehavior is not happening.

Each childhood behavior and disorder is categorized by the following three reference points:

• Introduction to the behavior or mental disorder
• Formal diagnosis as defined by the American Psychiatric Association
• Interventions that put you on the path to improving behaviors

Buy links

Amazon / Behavior Corner / Teachers Pay Teachers / Tate Publishing

Bio:

Barb Roba is a licensed mental health counselor and has earned a masters degree along with her Certificate of Advanced study in school counseling. Her area of expertise is found working with young children and their families to develop positive parenting and behavior management techniques. Barb is a mother of two boys. She currently works as an elementary school counselor and provides online mental health therapy to clients.

Find her on Facebook and on Twitter.

8 Free Parenting Books: Cooking, Advice, Special Needs & More

Broaden your parenting horizons by reading what some experts have to say. Most of these books are based on real-life experiences with the authors' own families. As of the time of this posting, all of these books are also free. Please note that prices can change at any time, so always verify the "Buy" price prior to your purchase.

cooking....

51 Quick & Easy Family Dinners Under $10
All of the recipes in this book have been tested on the author's own family. Each recipe costs less than $10, takes 30 minutes or less to cook, and can feed a family of 5. Try Texas Style Chicken Enchiladas, Swiss Style Meatballs, Grilled or Panini Style Apple and Chicken Sandwiches, and more.

Get your Kindle copy here.

parent to parent....

Livin' La Vida Papa


Louis Mack thought he was done raising kids. His daughter was 16 when all of a sudden, surprise! There's a new baby in the house! This stay-at-home dad has a new perspective on life with a baby. Share in his ups and downs with his new family.

Get your Kindle copy here.

Oh Look, There's Two of Them!

This is one look at the double joys and double trouble of having twins. Author Alan Roy Hocking has fraternal twin girls, but is sure that any parent of twins will relate to his adventures!

Get your Kindle copy here.

babies and toddlers....

Growing Bodies: All About Babies and Toddlers

The focus of this book is about the growth and development of babies and toddlers. Author Wilma Rodgerson also delves into some parenting advice for those first-time parents - what is normal behavior and what should raise a red flag.

Get your Kindle copy here.

special needs....

Dreams Change

This book is a raw look at a mother's journey as she finds out that her unborn baby has Down Syndrome and then living in the NICU. She candidly talks about how your dreams for your child change, when life throws you a curveball.

Get your Kindle copy here.

discipline....

Raising Kids With Love & Limits

The most effective discipline is consistent and firm. Learn how to stand your ground while showing your kids you still love them. Stop analyzing every little detail and communicate effectively.

Get your Kindle copy here.

family fun....

Grow Your Own Tree-Hugger: 101 activities to teach your child how to live green

101 science, food and craft activities teach children ages 4-10 how to be self-sustainable while having fun. Eliminate pesticides by naturally releasing ladybugs into the garden. Create fun t-shirts and and bags from recycled materials, or make your own solar oven that really works!

Get your Kindle copy here.

Doing Fun Stuff With Little Kids

Over 150 activities for any adult caregiver to do with young children can be done in any kind of weather and for little to no cost.

Get your Kindle copy here.

4 Free Kindle Books for Special Needs: Autism & ADHD

On occasion, there are free books available on the Kindle for special needs education and parenting. Sometimes these are preview chapters of full books. Some are always free. And others are free only for a limited time. Here are some books that are free as of the time of this posting. If you choose to purchase one, look at the price under "Buy" instead of "Prime" to verify its current price.

Don't have a Kindle? No worries! You can download a free app for your smartphone, tablet or computer by clicking here. Or, you can finally give in and purchase a Kindle, a Kindle Touch, or the new full-color Kindle Fire.

The Special Needs Parent Handbook - SPECIAL EDITION (abridged version)


The Special Needs Parent Handbook by Jonathan L. Singer that is currently free on the Kindle is an abridged version of the full-price version available in paperback. It advises parents and caregivers how to provide the best care for the child with special needs, as well as how to take care of oneself while doing so. Learn how to continue to care for the rest of the family while also being the best advocate for your child.

The author has a child with a rare genetic disorder that causes autistic tendencies. He hopes to reach other families with autistic children, cerebral palsy, etc. The organization Advocacy for All is also providing free copies of the paperback to libraries around the United States, so that all have easy access to it.

The full version of the book is currently available for Kindle for $9.99. Proceeds from the sale of this book go to Advocacy for All.

Purchase the abridged version for Kindle here.

Saving Deets!: A Family's Journey with Autism


Saving Deets! by Zack Gonzalez is the story of loving and helping a young boy with autism, known as Deets. It is written by Deets' teenage brother, providing a unique point-of-view not often covered in the current market. The honesty shared within the book will resonate with caregivers and families alike, as Zack says what is on everyone else's minds about all kinds of situations. He also shares how his family works to heal his brother.

Portions of the proceeds from the paperback version of the first edition are being donated toward autism research. Purchase a paperback version here.

Purchase the Kindle version here.


ADHD Life: Survive & Thrive: How to Cope With ADHD Life


ADHD Life: Survive & Thrive: How to Cope With ADHD Life by Molly Logan is a look at how adults can cope with their ADHD lives. It is part of a full series of mini-books on living with ADHD, whether yours or someone else in your family. It is written by a mom who personally has ADHD. She also is an expert in the subject, organizing many ADHD conferences and founding Parent Support Groups.





Get your Kindle copy here.


Calm Your Hyperactive Child (52 Brilliant Ideas)


Calm Your Hyperactive Child (52 Brilliant Ideas) by Dr. Sabina Dosani shares 52 different techniques for parents to use to help their child with ADHD. Try a new one each week of the year to see some gradual changes. Tips include modifying the child's diet, watching for warning signs of a hyper breakout, how to use cause and effect, and how to change your own reactions to the behavior.





Get your own Kindle copy here.
While I have not yet read nor reviewed any of these books, I have downloaded them to my Kindle readers. I figure I may as well grab them when they are free and I can read them later. You can also do the same! When I get a chance to read through them, I will post reviews on this blog. Please also share your opinions. Happy reading!

Childhood Speech, Language & Listening Problems

Several years ago, I had a young 4-go-5 student whose mother was convinced that he had a language processing problem. He wasn't picking up on his reading skills as quickly as his older sister. Being the Montessorian I am, I delved into a bunch of research, trying to figure out other ways of reaching this poor child.

One of the books I came across was Childhood Speech, Language & Listening Problems: What Every Parent Should Know by Patricia McAleer Hamaguchi. She is a speech-language pathologist with over 25 years of experience.




I loved this book. While it is directed at parents, it can also be a great resource for educators. The first chapter breaks down typical development into easy-to-read bullet points. The second covers when you need to be concerned about a child not reaching particular milestones. Both parents and educators can use these chapters as quick-reference checklists when concerned about a child. Chapters 3 and 4 detail how to go about getting an evaluation and how to understand all of the jargon involved. Granted, individual districts are going to have some of their own parameters. But reading this information is a great introduction into what to expect.

The second section of the book distinguishes between different types of speech and language problems. There is enough detail to provide an understanding of each issue, yet not so much as to overwhelm the reader. Parents would be interested in skimming these sections if they have a concern about their child, to give them a direction when seeking help. Otherwise, they can focus on the sections that have been diagnosed for their child. These can be starting points of getting information to help their child. For educators, it is yet another tool to determine when to recommend a child for an evaluation.

The final section focuses on possible causes and conditions that lead to speech and language deficiencies. This part reminds me of classes that I took in college. Nevertheless, it is good information to have.

When I read this book, I was relatively new to the world of evaluations and IEP meetings. Sure, we learned about them in school. But rarely in my experience had I ever needed to participate in them. Now it is the norm. I recommend evaluations and attend IEP meetings multiple times a year. This book gave me a good foundation for my work. It is also one that I return to on occasion as a refresher.

My edition is the second edition of the book. There is a new third edition that became available in 2010 that includes more information about toddlers and those "socially quirky" kids. It's on my list to update.