Getting Back 2 Greatness - The Nurtured Heart Approach

Do you have children in your life who:

appear angry or defiant?

exhibit temper tantrums?

do not respond to traditional discipline techniques?

Do you, as a parent:

find yourself yelling all the time?

feel like you’re not having any fun with your kids?

feel stressed out or anxious?

There is an approach that can help.

The Nurtured Heart Approach™ (NHA) created by Howard Glasser, is a method of parenting children with ADHD and others who are highly intense or difficult, by transforming the focus of their intensity and energy from one of ongoing opposition, negativity and failure, into one of success and achievement. It’s about recognizing and reflecting successes in every moment with your child. The good news is that this approach works with all children – whether they are impulsive, unmotivated, anxious, hyper, shy, entitled, etc. By using the methods outlined in the Nurtured Heart, all children flourish! 

Traditional parenting methods may work for the average child, but are not designed for the intense child and the harder parent’s try to implement these conventional methods, the worse the situation may get. Once the parent removes the computer, phone, TV and all other privileges, what options is the parent left with? The truth of the matter is that the child is running the show and isn’t afraid of his parents.

That’s why I created www.gettingback2greatness.com. I help families with spirited children by having the parents acknowledge and celebrate the child’s positive behaviors and reflect them back to the child, while giving no attention to the negative behaviors. Particularly intense kids who get all of our delicious, luscious attention when they are misbehaving and breaking rules so they rise to that expectation- why would they give that up?


We as parents, accidentally energize the choices we don’t want our children to make, by giving out $100 bills in the form of our attention, focus, and relationship. Energetically we hand out big bucks all the time. Children can feel relatively invisible when they are not breaking the rules and perceive the juicy connection when they do because the energy we give is often “upside down”. 

By realizing that we are the gift being sought by our children, we can now decide how to give them our attention, energy, and relationship. We can either focus on the negative - the whining, name calling, temper tantrums, back-talking, and all of the other undesirable behaviors, or we can change our focus and energize the children for all of the non-rule breaking behaviors that they do every day. 

Once the adult begins to celebrate the child’s positive behaviors, the parent creates a juicier, more spiritually nutritious “time-in”. As the child feels “nourished” by the parent, he will begin use his intensity in more successful ways.

Parents and teachers need to make a child feel valued. This is accomplished by recognizing the child’s positive choices and reflecting them back to the child in these moments to give the child a first-hand experience of success. Children don’t always know what they are doing right- they need our help.

This technique is a remarkable way of showing your child that you notice and care about many aspects of their life…It is not only a way of feeding their emotional reservoir, but of proving that they are not invisible. Indeed, many children feel they are invisible unless they are either going to the trouble of acting out or doing something exceptionally well.

By noticing the child for his everyday good choices, the child begins to feel valued and has a sense of belonging, not for something fabulous that they accomplished, but just for being who he is in each moment. 

Once you begin to implement this approach and the child feels “seen” – the parent will see the behaviors in their home shift and the child will show up in their greatness!

I am the owner of Getting Back 2 Greatness through which I provide one-on-one coaching, classes, trainings and speaking engagements on the NHA™. For more information- please contact me at Julie@gettingback2greatness.com, 702.461.0749 or visit my website at www.gettingback2greatness.com.

Julie has trained teachers, parents, religious schools, social workers, Foster Parents, Jr. League, Psychiatrists, spoken at Anti-Bullying Conventions, and taught a graduate class at UNLV on Parenting.

The approach, although originally designed for highly intense children, is tremendously valuable for all children. Whether your child shows symptoms of ODD, ADHD, is withdrawn, shy, aggressive, feels entitled, is unmotivated, etc., when you implement these strategies, you bring out the best in your child!

Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach, by Howard Glasser has risen to number one in sales among ADHD books. Glasser's work has provided parents with a highly effective interactive alternative to medicating their challenging children, one that creates successes for them, and allows them to internalize those successes.

Also find Getting Back 2 Greatness on Facebook

'Parenting Your Child Leader' by Darryl Bodkin

Foreward

Darryl Bodkin has written a wonderful treatise on child development and leadership. He writes from a child’s perspective on parenting and provides invaluable insight on the subject of leadership growth and development.

When I was 11 years of age, my life was torn apart by the loss of my father in a tragic construction accident. It was a defining moment for me. Fortunately, my godly grandmother sat down with me and told me that I had to be the leader in our home since I was the oldest child. From that moment leadership was thrust upon me. Reading this book has caused me to reflect on that landmark day in my own childhood when I started on a leadership journey.

I commend Darryl Bodkin’s book to you for your enjoyment and personal growth. I believe every parent who reads it will benefit from the lessons taught on parenting and will gain an understanding of how to encourage the development of leadership qualities in children. Proverbs 3:5–6 is a sterling reminder of the potential for vital Christian leadership within every child that is born into God’s big world.

Dr. Stan A. Toler
Bestselling Author
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma


Reviews

I am very pleased to endorse this book “Parenting your Child Leader” written by Mr. Darryl Bodkin at this very critical juncture in our human economy as it relates to leadership. This book is well positioned to address this pertinent subject, taking a rudimentary approach to the same.

The following quote from the author is testimony to the above, “The leaders who are tasked with confronting the concerns that face us today developed their skills and competencies from their experiences at home from parents and caregivers.”

May this thesis be so utilized that better leaders will emerge.

Scoffield Eversley, Th.D.
President
Caribbean Nazarene College

Darryl has always been bold enough to transform his potential into practical reality, for the time that I have known him he has always been one to motivate, encourage, teach, lead. It is therefore not surprising that he would write a book on leadership, specifically one geared toward the very ones who are naturally charged with the responsibility for raring leaders, parents. In his book Bodkin draws from his own experiences and that of selected biblical historical figures, who themselves were leaders, to give validity to his claims. He also gives very personable examples and relatable illustrations which not only clarify but also seals his position in the mind of the readers. I believe that this book is a very timely piece of literature as we witness the decay of a generation who are content with allowing various factors to make crucial decisions for them and are satisfied to simply follow what everyone else may be doing, whether right or wrong, rather than thinking for themselves and activating the leadership potential which lies dormant within them. Thank you Darryl for your obedience and your willingness to serve this present age!
Russell Léonce
Gospel Recording Artiste
facebook.com/russellleonce
twitter.com/russellleonce

This book is a must read, the author nailed it! As a parent it was really refreshing to get another angle on the topic of parenting. A definite eye opener that any parent can appreciate. This book is alive and real and should come in pocket book size too!
Wendy Butcher, Parent

I highly recommend this book for everyone desirous of investing in a child’s life - which speaks volumes for our future. Darryl has presented a dexterous model of Parent-caddying which is highly effective and invaluable. It presents a strong foundation for our kids to maximise their unlimited potential.
Rhonda McLean, Parent

Available on Amazon
Also available at Barnes & Noble \ Christian Book \ Parable Books

Darryl Bodkin has an undergraduate degree in Physics from the University of the West Indies (May 2008). He is a graduate of the Caribbean Nazarene College with a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and Counselling and Human Resources Management (May 2013). Darryl served as youth ministry leader for five years at the Arima Church of the Nazarene and Student Body President (August 2012- May 2013). His current ministry assignment is as Strategy Coordinator at the El Socorro Church of the Nazarene. In his professional career, he functions as the Operations Manager for Geotech Associates Limited, a civil engineering consultancy based in Trinidad and Tobago. He has represented his country at the regional level at the 2009 CARICOM Youth Exchange in Haiti and has been a facilitator for the annual Barbados Youth Leadership Retreat (2009-20011). Darryl recently published his first book, ‘Parenting Your Child Leader’ in May 2013. It is based on his experience as a child, leader and faith. In June 2013 Darryl was elected to serve on the General Board of the Church of the Nazarene. His blog can be read at darrylbodkin.com. He can be followed at Twitter.com/DarrylBodkin or Facebook.com/darryldbodkin.

'In the Sky' by Rachelle Nones

Book Blurb 

Children love to gaze at the sky to watch the clouds float by. They are naturally curious about clouds and enjoying learning about different clouds types so they can predict the weather. In the Sky is not a textbook but it does teach children about the various types of clouds in a unique, fun manner. 

Details

Mini cloud stories describe different types of clouds in an informative, amusing, unique style.

• Features beautiful, timeless illustrations 
• Ideal enrichment material for children learning about the weather. 
• Includes fun facts about clouds and a resource page with live "hot" links to useful cloud-related resources. 


Encourages children to read while building their vocabulary. 


Reads best on regular Kindle or Kindle Paperwhite.


Each page will fit your entire Kindle screen much better than you see in the preview. 

Here is a sneak peek:

Author Dianne Branch pens picture books that adults and children can both enjoy

In 2008, DB Children’s Books author Dianne Branch wanted to find a children’s book to help guide her daughter Sydney through the process of becoming a big sister. She wanted a book that Sydney could see herself in, but had trouble finding stories with characters that looked like her child.

So she decided to write the book herself for her daughter, and in August of 2011, brought Sydney and Logan’s story to the world by self-publishing Sydney Becomes a Big Sister. In fall of 2011, she added Logan’s Caterpillar to the list of DB Children’s Books’ titles.

Guided almost entirely by her children’s real voices and experiences, her books bring an enjoyable authenticity to young readers that is easy to relate to and understand. Several additional titles will be released in the near future.

Dianne, her two children, and her husband reside in Maryland. 

Check out her four picture books below! Click on a cover to purchase on Amazon.

Sydney and Logan are ready for summer. They have so much to do in so little time. Read and enjoy summer with them.

Sydney and Logan must learn how to share, get along, and take turns with each other. They face challenges like most siblings, but find out how they work them out.

Becoming a big sister is a very special experience for children. Helping the big sister adjust in her new role is important. Sydney is ready to step in this role and invites you to read about it.

Logan is so excited when he finds a new friend in his own backyard. He later discovers that this new friend has changed into something new. Read and learn what it is.

Also available from Barnes & Noble and iTunes!

Find out more about author Dianne Branch and her two kids who inspired this highly rated series of books and apps:

Website \ Facebook 

'Sleepytown Beagles: The Lemonade Stand' by Timothy Glass

 

The fifth book in the popular series introduces a charming new look for the loveable Sleepytown Beagles. The Lemonade Stand is a heartfelt and humorous tale of Tyler the Beagle’s desire to help Ben save money. Although he means well, Tyler learns that there is a right and wrong way to do things and that we can learn from our mistakes. Come share this entertaining journey. Whether you are Sleepytown Beagles fan or just discovering the series, this hardcover edition will be a favorite in your child’s library.

Rave reviews:

Susan Saunders, B.S., M.Ed. ~~
Those loveable, teachable beagles will once again inspire and pique your children’s interest in their latest story, The Lemonade Stand. This delightful story teaches that bad choices have direct consequences and how to deal constructively with a bad choice or mistake. Leave it to those beagles to use this mistake as a way of learning right from wrong.
Denise Landry ~~
Another beagle breakthrough with the Sleepytown Beagles, The Lemonade Stand You will "howl" happily as a particular beagle's innocent antics instill integrity and responsibility in those who partake in this thoughtful and charming tale!

Book links

Available in hardcover and ecopy
 

Author Bio:

Timothy Glass was born in Pennsylvania but grew up in Central New Mexico. Tim graduated from the University of New Mexico. He later spent some time in New England and now lives in Port Orange, Florida.

Glass is an award winning author, illustrator, cartoonist, and writing instructor. Tim has worked as a ghostwriter and a story consultant.

Angry Kids: Changing the Climate of Your Home by Lynne Namka, Ed.D.

Please welcome Lynne Namka, Ed.D. to the blog today. She is sharing advice on how to reduce the anger level in your home, and also provides some further reading to help.

You can also check out her book, 'The Mad Family Gets the Mads Out' here.

Angry Kids: Changing the Angry Climate of Your Home

Lynne Namka, Ed. D. © 2013

A reader wrote me to ask which of my books would I recommend for an angry teenager. And then a mother called me about her explosive teenager. So here are some of my thoughts about turning anger around at home.

Parents feel so helpless when the anger monster gets out of hand in the family and zooms back and forth from one family member to the next. Here are the resources I gathered, a few mine and from others for turning the problem of teen anger into an opportunity for learning.

First we must all take responsibility for what we have created in the home. No one family is singled out—changing the atmosphere in the home is a group effort. Each person has added their piece to the dynamics of anger that has taken over. System theory (a family is a system where contagious emotions bounce back and forth) says don’t blame but challenge each person to look for solutions.

Taking responsibility for words and actions is a sign of maturity. To do this you can learn to work with our sticky feelings especially the negative ones and express the loving ones to those we care about often. Helping others to understand and express their feelings in safe and sane ways that do not hurt others or ourselves is the core of my work.

Your child will not take responsibility for his or her anger if it is being modeled for them in the home. If one or more parent is angry and fighting with the child and using old, outdated “do what I tell you because I’m the parent,”

To turn things around, the angry parent MUST take charge of his or her own anger by taking an anger management class and then doing the anger containment and release at home IN FRONT OF THE CHILD! That’s right; the parent must model positive use of anger and holding their own temper! It’s that old proverb, “Little monkey see, little monkey do.” Then little monkeys grow up to be big monkeys with children of their own and the anger and abuse continue to the next generation.

Announce: This Family is Taking a Vacation from Anger! Refuse to engage in the baiting and picking that goes on. Stop sarcasm, name calling and eye rolling. See my article on Fair Fighting at HappyHealthyLoving.com for more ideas about better ways to express anger. Own up and be the bigger person. Apologize to your child or spouse in front of the entire family for anything that you said or did that hurt them. Ask if anyone else needs to apologize but don’t push for this. Remember sincere apologies are said with true regret and an intention to change for the benefit of all. (Yelling I’m sorry is not a true apology.)


Remind each and everyone in the home that they are responsible for their anger outbursts and they can learn to express anger in ways that do not hurt others or themselves. Get the young person in anger management class or counseling of course, but it is not up to them to change the family dynamics—every single person can contribute. If one person won’t, unfortunately that’s a sign of immaturity, but the rest of you can go ahead and do things that will make a difference.

Taking a Time Out in the heat of anger is a sign of maturity. Step back, take a breath and bite your tongue to keep from adding fuel to the anger fire. Excuse yourself by saying that you have to go calm yourself down. Parental time outs model appropriate anger containment!

Learn to be silly and lighten up the mood of the home. Kids love fun. No mean teasing, but jokes, laughing at yourself, smiling at your child and spouse often, affectionate gestures are all part of creating a loving home.

Resources

Here are some small books that teach parents and children how to be an effective human being even when angry. This approach may seem simple to you but it works.

These books are cheap from $.01 to $6.97 from the online bookstores. Invest in them to shift your outlook so that things can shift at home. [Click on a book title to be taken to its Amazon page.]

The One Minute Scolding: The Amazingly Effective New Approach to Child Discipline
Gerald E. Nelson

Keeping your reprimand to one minute and saying something positive about your child before giving a correction puts the responsibility on you for keeping it light. It also keeps you from ranting and venting. This book is full of common-sense skills for discipling children and teens while raising the self esteem of both child and parents.
 

The One Minute Father and The One Minute Mother by Spencer Johnson

Unconditionally love the child and correct the behavior quickly. Based on the wildly popular One Minute Manager for businesses (translated into many languages and sold worldwide.) These two books for parents teach the principles of the One Minute Manager in the natural context of the parent child relationship. Based on praise first to get the attention and set the mood and then give the reprimand. (I love you, but cut that behavior out!)


Who Moved My Cheese? For Teens by Spencer Johnson

This is a small story that gives the message written in parable form: “If you keep on doing the same thing, you will keep getting the same result.” Flexibility and the ability to stop doing what doesn’t work and change directions and tactics are necessary skills for getting a happy life.

Here are some of my children’s books on learning about the correct use of feelings.

Feelings are for learning. The more you find ways to work with them and release them, the happier you and your loved ones will be. The Mad Family Gets their Mads Out has been a best seller since it came out two decades ago.

The book I wrote to explain how to release feelings for children is Goodbye Ouchies and Grouchies, Hello Happy Feelings. It is the book I wish I could have read as a confused child. It teaches The Emotional Freedom Technique which actually releases negative feelings, irrational beliefs and traumas.

My newest book, The Case of the Prickly Feelings is about a little hedgehog detective who goes on the case to find out what to do with his angry feelings that he picked up from the prickly people in his family. All my books teach different methods of letting go of negative feelings.

And finally a hilarious You Tube video by comedienne Amanda Gore: How to let People Know You Love Them, Zoot Zoot! Zooties! You and your spouse watch this video four times and then do it! Yes, do it! Yes give yourself permission to have fun and do it. Yes it is silly, but kids respond to silly. Do Gore’s wild idea often to change the sullen energy in the home. Watch her other fun videos.

Share the positive! Please pass this article on to parents, teachers, therapists, counselors and those who might be in need of this information.

A subscription to my free weekly newsletter which gives much information about anger and healthy living can be found at angriesout.com.

Start off your day with a positive message or two from me on my Facebook page. Look for the positive and you will find it! Join me on Facebook by making a request for becoming a friend at https://www.facebook.com/lynne.namka

'The Mad Family Gets Their Mads Out' by Lynne Namka, Ed.D.

The Mad Family Gets Their Mads Out

Blurb:

Are people in your family mad? Those pesky mads! They are part of being human, but they do keep us steaming and stewing. They make us irrational. They pop out at the wrong times. They make us say and do things we regret later. There must be a better way! The Mad Family Book gives choices! In this book, you can find out how to:

*Deal with an angry child by giving him positive alternatives. 
*Help your child understand his angry feelings. 
*Express anger in ways that do not hurt others or self. 
*Learn safe and fun ideas for anger release. 
*Learn to speak negative feelings to increase self-esteem.

~~Available on Amazon~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lynne Namka, Ed. D. is a Happy Psychologist in private practice in Tucson, AZ, and an occasional storyteller. Her last three books are about finding and keeping love: Love as a Fine Species of Madness - which is a tear-jerker; the metaphysical fairy tale, Castalia Ever After; and the hysterically funny, feminist fairy tale, The Loathsome Lady: The Wedding of Sir Gawain and Dame Ragnell. Collectively, these three books take a hard-eye look at the wrong kind of loving.

Woven into the fabric of her numerous book and articles are models and metaphors of the science, psychology and the mystical spirit-world. Her writings contain ideas from Native American lore, Sufism, Buddhism and Taoism, with a basic overall Christian approach to becoming a kind, loving person.

The ideas in her popular children's self-help books are based on years of working in programs for children with severe behavior problems. These books include Good Bye Ouchies and Grouchies, Hello Happy Feelings: EFT for Kids of All Ages, Parent's Fight, Parents Make Up and the best selling, The Mad Family Gets Their Mads Out. In addition, she has written several curriculums for therapists, teachers and parents to work with angry children and has a CD for children called Get Your Angries Out, which features anger management techniques.

Her award-wining web site, www.AngriesOut.com, features a write-in advice column for angry children and has over 300 pages of articles on anger management information. Her web site receives 30,000 hits a month. She has also written an inclusive book on anger management called Your Quick Anger Make Over Plus Twenty Other Cutting-Edge Techniques to Release Anger.

Lynne's free weekly newsletter, Inspiration and Transformation is available at www.angriesout.com. Currently, the newsletter has over 3,800 viewers and goes out across the world. In the newsletter, Lynne often writes about love and living in healthy relationships. One of her talents is translating the psychology research into everyday people-language, to provide practical ways of living a healthy life. Her light-hearted writings encourage the readers to be their highest and best self by using positive tools and techniques to work with their emotions. Her extensive research and writing has instilled a constant drive to practice what she "preaches."

Having a mystical bent, Lynne also has a separate practice listed at www.tucsonshaman.com, and takes people on shamanic journeys to accomplish healing.

In a recent interview she said, "I know the ways of the depths of the human heart and our longing for love. As a therapist I work with people who want love but try for it with the weapons of war--the ego and its defense mechanisms which separate us from others. Intimacy is a set of skills to be learned, which happens when we address our deepest fears. I love being a Love Coach! It's part of my job as a healer helping people address their unruly and aggressive feelings and the negative ways of coping with them. Life is a great, grand mystery and we are here to connect with each other in loving relationships. There is a science and an art to creating loving relationships and my writings combine the two with practical advice and some fun."