'Parents, Please Discipline Your Kids So We Don't Have To' Guest Article by Mary Jo Rapini

Parents: Please Discipline Your Kids So We Don't Have To

by Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC

Everyone has heard the story of Karen Kane, the bus monitor, being bullied and ridiculed by four seventh grade boys in Greece, NY. It was disgusting; horrible, violent and crude language hurled onto this 68 year-old grandmother who was doing her job. Karen didn't reach out and grab the ring leader (although he looked quite small), nor did she call on her cell phone or taser him. (The school continues to say they are shocked and appalled by this behavior even though Karen has said it has happened in the past and was ignored.) The kids were impulsive, not thinking or caring about later consequences, and kept going with their taunts, knowing they were being filmed. Obviously, they were having fun, and probably came from homes where this behavior was acceptable.

The tape is so disturbing that although it lasts for ten minutes, few people can watch it for more than three. People around the world are identifying with Karen. They too know what it is like to be bullied by someone and unable to stop the bully. They identify with her being an adult and trying the tactic everyone has been taught to do with bullies, "ignore them and they will go away." They don't go away though, and instead the taunting got worse with her attempts to ignore them.

Everyone knows about bullying; we all know what it looks like, with recent documentaries of bully behavior, and kids being driven to suicide. There are many of us who are fed up with it, and we are sick of parents sticking their heads in the sand and ignoring what their kids are doing. Some (but not all) of the parents of these kids are single parents. It's a lot more difficult to raise a child on your own, maintain a social life and possibly dating someone new. Obviously, something has to get squeezed out (we only have so much time), but what is being let go of is not okay. If you let go of being a responsible parent and raising responsible, respectful children who obey the law and are engaged with their family, you are letting your child down as well as all of society.  Some parents realize too late they never wanted to be parents, and they have no idea how to set rules, follow through with consequences, or discipline their child. Their goal is to keep their child supplied with video games and cash, so their kid will not interfere with their life.

Kids need discipline (teaching); they need guidance and moral mentoring, including limit setting. They need an engaged father figure to help with this. They also need a mother who is there with her watchful eye and ability to correct their child when they make a mistake. It is important for both of these parents to be committed to raising their child through the teen years. A kid learns empathy, respect for authority, and respect for others at home. If the parents aren't at home, have no respect for one another or their child, and don't set examples of morality, empathy and respect, how in the world is their child going to value those characteristics?

The children who bullied this woman on the bus had deeper issues than their insults to her. They are mirroring happenings in their family. We need to look at the kids and the family and treat the whole system. The schools are in need of change, but they are a reactive institution. The bad stuff doesn't begin with the school (although they are a great institution onto which to project blame); the bad stuff is in our homes. Here are a few suggestions for parents who feel as though their child has taken over the home.

1. Begin by finding a parenting class. This is easiest done by finding a great parenting program. They are listed in many of the free family magazines being circulated within your city. There is a wonderful website also that would be a great place to begin. It is called: www.howtoparent.org. They list a series of blogs and can help you find parenting classes as well as find help for you and your child. 2. No matter if you are a single parent or a dual parent, you need to make home represent home again. You do this with your time. RE-establish a mealtime, cook a meal and be there.

3. Be engaged and go over your child's virtual world. (If you are computer illiterate, hire a monitoring group to help.) Children live up to 80% of their waking hours in computer games, Skype, cell phones, Facebook, and anywhere else in the virtual world to which they can escape. Kids who are angry or depressed do not frequent positive websites, friends, or texts. You need to know what your child is doing. 4. Re-institute manners in the home. Talk with manners to them, and insist they address you politely. If you are angry and beating up others with your words or your fists, your kid is going to do the same thing (when you aren't around). Bullies have seen bully behavior somewhere, and it is usually in the home.

5. Go back in your mind to the last time your family worked well together. A time when you spoke politely to one another and your children obeyed your rules without challenging you. If it has been longer than 2 months, you need professional intervention. Sometimes, beginning with a family meeting and talking about what's going on can be paramount in helping the family become stabilized and working together. A professional counselor can help empower and support family rules that mom and dad set, which gives the family back structure and helps support the family while new healthier ways of communicating are being learned.

If or when a child cannot be polite and respectful, before I look too deeply into their eyes, I am going to look into the parent's. Kids are mirrors of the home. I have NEVER met a bully child without later meeting a bully, absent, or abusive parent. Take your kids back, give them a home, guidance and mentor respect for them.

Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC, is a licensed psychotherapist and co-author with Janine J. Sherman, of Start Talking: A Girl's Guide for You and Your Mom About Health, Sex or Whatever. Read more about the book at www.StartTalkingBook.com and more about Rapini at www.maryjorapini.com. 

'Your Child's Toxic Friendships' Article by Mary Jo Rapini

A new school year brings new friends into your child's life. Most of the time, friends can be a positive influence on your child. Every once in a while, though, a bad apple is found in the bunch. Mary Jo Rapini, psychotherapist and coauthor of Start Talking: A Girl's Guide for You and Your Mom about Health, Sex, or Whatever, talks to parents about how to identify a toxic friendship in your child's life and how to help your child through it.

Your Child's Toxic Friendships     

by Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC

Kids don't come with a manual and neither does parenting. For the most part, good communication gets you through the rough times and helps to divert disaster.   One dilemma that tends to stymie most parents centers around the friends your child chooses. Most of the time, kids make great choices, but sometimes the friends that choose your child are not great choices. And, for some unknown reason, your child cannot get away from these types of friends. These friends are what I refer to as "toxic friends." My two daughters both experienced situations with these types of friends; even though it was brief, it wasn't as brief as it could have been had I been more aware.

If you give a situation time, it will usually work itself out. With toxic friends, however, that is not always true -- so an intervention is necessary. Before you can intervene, you need to know what you are looking for. To you as a parent, the toxic friend may appear like the nice kid next door, yet, they say nasty things when no adult is around, and they make your child feel incompetent if they tell their parent.

Here are a few more signs that your child may be involved with a toxic friend: If your child becomes totally obsessed with pleasing this friend, there is a good chance the power balance has shifted and your child is being used. If your child's friend treats their parent or any adult with disdain, pay attention. This is not a good sign as they have issues with authority. Your child's new friend doesn't abide by your child's rules. For example, if you tell your child no communicating after 9 p.m. and this friend continually calls or texts, saying rules are stupid or for little kids, this is not a friendship you want to nurture. Your child is teased or belittled in any way by this friend. The friend tries to get your child to act rude or disobedient at school. The friend wants to keep secrets all the time. Your child's friend is rude in public. All kids make mistakes, but if you notice this kid is a brat in public, can you imagine what is going on in their home? Your child's friend picks on "lesser people" or has a bully attitude. Your child's new friend has angry outbursts. Your child begins acting out, swearing, and acting belligerent or indignant (unless someone is modeling that behavior in your home).

It is much better if you can prevent these relationships from forming rather than trying to break them up once they have bonded. To end these types of relationships, you need to have your child see the light and understand what is happening. Your child also needs to know they are supported by you, as these types of friends often have power over your child with other friends. It is always advised to work on changing the family dynamics so your child will become more and more difficult for his or her toxic friend to control.

Here are a few suggestions that may help: Begin by having the toxic friend over for dinner (it is even better if the parents can come). Usually you don't need to do more; the whole situation becomes very clear to your child. Talk with your child about their toxic friend's behavior only. Try not to attack the friend, but say what you see and why it is unappealing. Be honest and firm with your observations. Structure your child's life as much as possible. Your child will need an excuse at times and if they are able to say, "My parents will ground me for life or take my car away if I do that," it helps them save face. Set limits. Keep your child's curfew and follow through with consequences. If your child begins suffering for their toxic friend, they may wake up sooner rather than later, asking why they like this person who gets them into trouble. Many times your child will choose to hang out with someone you don't like as a form of rebellion. If depression, anger, or acting out become an issue, it is wise to seek counseling for your child as well as yourself. Toxic friends have the power to turn a once harmonious family into a chaotic situation very quickly.

The tween/teenage years are relatively short, but the decisions made have dire consequences for your child. Engage with your child; know where they are, who their friends are, and who the parents of those friends are. Social networking has many advantages, but also many dangers. Toxic people think of toxic ways to use social networking. Self-esteem is fragile in the tween/teen years; one toxic relationship can destroy your child's self esteem for years to come.

Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC, is a licensed psychotherapist and co-author with Janine J. Sherman, of Start Talking: A Girl's Guide for You and Your Mom About Health, Sex or Whatever. Read more about the book at www.StartTalkingBook.com and more about Rapini at www.maryjorapini.com.

'Parents Need to Talk to Their Kids About Sex' Article by Mary Jo Rapini

Talking to teens about sex isn't going to be easy, but is a necessary evil when you are a parent. Mary Jo Rapini, psychotherapist and coauthor of Start Talking: A Girl's Guide for You and Your Mom about Health, Sex, or Whatever talks to parents about the importance of having the big talk and tips for how to do so.

Parents Need to Talk to Their Kids About Sex    

by Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC

One of my colleagues works exclusively with teens and is noting an increase in oral sex among teens. It is interesting because the teens report being virgins and are adamant that they aren't having sex.  According to a recent study, researchers in California found that oral sex is the most frequently practiced sex act among teenagers engaging in sexual activity. Only 9 percent of high school students who have had oral sex are still virgins two years later. Oral sex has become the gateway to intercourse. The teen is in denial and not aware that oral sex is still sex and carries a risk of STD as well as teen pregnancy because most times sex does not stop with oral sex.

In the study mentioned above, Dr. Bonnie Halpern-Felsher Ph.D. from the University of California followed more than 600 students attending two northern California high schools from 2002 to 2005 in order to understand the role of oral sex in the progression of teen sexual behavior. The teens filled out questionnaires every six months from the start of ninth grade and the end of the 11th grade. More than 90 percent of ninth grade students said they had not yet tried vaginal sex, while 40 percent of the 11th graders reported the same. Over the course of the study, most teens reported having intercourse within the same six month period as their first oral sex experience. Overwhelmingly they had tried oral sex before trying intercourse.

Sex education programs overlook oral sex and focus on abstinence. Improving education in all forms of sex is vital for preventing teen pregnancies and STDs. The best sex education must begin in the home. We cannot rely on the schools to do what we fail to talk about at home with our teens. It is possible that preaching abstinence is enabling the denial that oral sex is sex. If you are engaging in oral sex--and your parents and school is constantly bombarding you with the practicing abstinence concept, you can rationalize that you aren't having sex, because oral sex won't make you pregnant. Teens don't typically think about the consequences of what oral sex will lead to: the risk of STDs, or intercourse and pregnancy.

How parents can help protect their teen: 1. Talk to your teen about sex. This can be done by beginning when your child is young with age appropriate opportunities. TV shows, lyrics on the radio are all good branching off points for parents to begin a dialogue about sex.   2. Make sure your child has an annual exam. When you have a girl and she begins her menstrual cycle make sure you take her to a doctor who can talk to her about her body, her cycle and her breast development. Your son should go with his dad to the family doctor and his body changes should be discussed. Boys need the same focus on understanding their changing body as girls do. Parents are an integral part of teaching their children to respect their changing body and to respect the bodies of others. No parent should ever use the excuse for not teaching their child, that their parents never taught them, or that they just had a book pushed at them about sexual development, when asked why they don't teach their child about sexuality.

3. When your child asks you a question in regards to sex, their body, or a relationship, take it seriously. If you don't know the answer, tell them the truth, reassure them that it is a good question and you will find the answer. 4. There should be nothing your child cannot ask you in regards to their sexual body. If you are too embarrassed, tell them you have "hang ups," but you will find them someone they can talk to. Children are very forgiving when parents trust them enough to be honest with them. 5. Make a pact with your teen that their health always takes primary importance. Let them know you may not like their decision but you will do whatever you can to keep them safe. Teens take risks when parents disengage, and the child feels like there is nothing they can do to please their parent.

It is disturbing when therapists see children as young as 10 years old who are actively having oral sex. When the parents are brought to the session and the child admits to this, everyone is in shock. They question how did it happen and when did it happen, since the boy and girl are never alone together. Believe me; they have plenty of time to be alone together.   You taught your child how to ride a bike, how to throw a ball, and how to tie their shoe. You better teach them about their changing body, what sex involves, and that oral sex is sex and can lead to consequences that will affect them for the rest of their life. Schools nor anyone else can teach your child about sex as well as you.

Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC, is a licensed psychotherapist and co-author with Janine J. Sherman, of Start Talking: A Girl's Guide for You and Your Mom About Health, Sex or Whatever. Read more about the book at www.StartTalkingBook.com and more about Rapini at www.maryjorapini.com.

Promotional Book Tours August Group Tour and $100 Gift Card Giveaway

Welcome to Promotional Book Tours Group Tour taking place August 3 - 24. We have teamed up with 9 Amazing Authors and several awesome bloggers to bring you a $100 Amazon Giftcard!
Brought to you by these 9 books!
Don’t miss out on these great reads even if you don’t have a kindle yet. You can download the kindle app for you phone, desktop, or ipad HERE. All of these books are less than a Starbucks Coffee! 

Incredible Dreams

Incredible Dreams is the story of a modern-day ghost whisperer who travels through time to save the life of a WWII fighter pilot, and ends up jeopardizing her own existence.

 

Izzy Miller prefers to call herself a spiritual therapist because she thinks it makes her sound more professional than plain old ghost-whisperer. She expects her latest project to be quick and easy because exorcising military personnel is pretty routine.

But there's nothing easy or routine about Captain Jack Baker—he's a rather forgetful spirit and somewhat mischievous. And even though he's intrigued by the US Government's latest attempt to remove him from the only place he can ever remember being... he has no intentions of going anywhere.

Plans to exorcise Jack are quickly sidelined when Izzy discovers a portal into the past inside her dreams and sets out to change his fate. Trouble is...when she gets back there, she can't remember anything but her name. She still sees ghosts, but is far less accepting of her gift. And, to make matters worse, a demonic force pretending to be the forgetful heroine's sister has her own plans—to steal Izzy's soul.

Purchase Here

50 Parent Commandments: "The Essential Guide to Hiring a Good Nanny"

50 Parent Commandments is a must have book by childcare expert, Tosi Ufodike. Parents all over the world struggle with how to hire and retain good nannies to look after their children. In this book she offers simple, yet effective advice on Hiring a Good Nanny.

This book answers many questions: Should you offer your nanny a bonus? What should you do if the nanny is a flirt? Should you allow the nanny to spank your child? How much should you pay a nanny? Nanny Cams?should you have one? Tosi Ufodike relied on numerous parent and nanny interviews to write this book.

50 Parent Commandments is the only book that gives parent tested advice that is not based on theory but practical experience. With humor, insight, and proven experience, Tosi Ufodike breaks down the daunting task of hiring a good nanny. Purchase HERE

Murder & Mayhem in Goose Pimple Junction

When Tess Tremaine starts a new life in the colorful town of Goose Pimple Junction, she thinks she's moved to a quiet little burg.

Curiosity leads her to look into a seventy-five-year-old murder, and suddenly she's learning the foreign language of southern speak, resisting her attraction to local celebrity Jackson Wright, and dealing with more mayhem than she can handle.


Purchase Here

Bitten Shame

Jill Prescott returned from self-imposed seclusion to help save her best friend Devan’s life. Throwing herself into Devan’s problems and bringing an evil organization to its knees might just be the distraction she needs to keep living without the only man she’s ever loved. Her life changed forever when she was hired to spend a week with Doc Massey.

On the day she became a vampire her youthful innocence ended, but Doc’s love rescued her from being consumed by the darkness. The shadow of that former life continues to loom over her, keeping her from realizing her own self-worth. Running from her past only brings her closer to a destiny that is inextricably connected to what she is trying to escape…

Every gift has both a reward and a price, because All of it fits…

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As Above~ So Below: A Channeled, Assisted, Unfolding Story

A thought-provoking, journey of fantasy, through the experiences of a new writer that has moved back to the mountains of Upstate New York with his wife. He encounters a spirit who has passed over, and together, they touch upon many issues and beliefs of society and the concerns thereof; those that weigh so heavily upon their minds.

Often controversial, at times extremely passionate, and usually very captivating, this work exudes food for thought that "Magickally" keys forth a possible spirtual awakening for those yearning to grow and learn. The opinions and beliefs presented within, may or may not be similar to those of the reader~ however it will provoke the reader to think about what is said.

The author believes this to be a "channeled" work, as much that is wriiten, he believes to have received form the "powers that be." Purchase HERE

Restless

When she agrees to allow Ms. Lacusta to help develop her powers, Tasmyn has no idea how deep and dark the journey will become. Trapped between fascination and fear, she moves farther away from friends and family, even her boyfriend Michael.

Leading a double life forces Tas into decisions that will threaten her sanity and her future… and the very lives of those she loves.

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The Unsacred Gift

When Sissy was six, she had her first vision of her sister’s (Misty) disappearance. Her mother (Tina) said she had a bad dream, but not long after that Misty vanished before Sissy’s eyes. No one believed her, so Sissy pretend to act like everyone else, like Misty never disappeared and never existed. For the past fifteen years Misty’s disappearance has haunted Sissy’s dreams. She could hear the ear piercing screams at night of her sister begging for help. Sissy tries to help her, but never succeeds.

Sicily “Sissy” Monroe attends the University of Washington and is in her senior year majoring in Psychology. She has all the makings of a perfect young lady, ageless skin, flawless long black hair, full kissable lips and eyes that are shaped like almonds. She is almost where she wants to be in life. But laying deep in the pupil of her eye’s hold something that she cannot get rid of, which interferes with her plans.

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Night Game

The exclusive King's Club resort casino is a glittering playground for gamblers with everything to gain and the hunting ground for a killer with nothing to lose. Until casino owner Jay King hires P.I. Kasey Atwood. Kasey's attraction to King is immediate.

As their love affair heats up, she becomes a pawn in a dangerously seductive game of passion and revenge

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Phantom

The “Phantom” was a musical phenomenon that Rebecca had always found enchanting. She had no idea that her life was about to mirror the play that was her obsession. When her high school drama club chooses “Phantom” as their annual production, Rebecca finds herself in the middle of an unlikely love triangle and the target of a sadistic stalker who uses the lines from the play as their calling card.

Rebecca lands the lead role of Christine, the opera diva, and like her character, she is torn between her two co-stars—Tom the surfer and basketball star who plays the lovable hero, and Justyn, the strangely appealing Goth who is more than realistic in the role of the tortured artist.

Almost immediately after casting, strange things start to happen both on and off the stage. Curtains fall. Mirrors are shattered. People are hurt in true phantom style. Read more and purchase HERE


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Meet Mary Jo Rapini and Janine Sherman, Authors of Start Talking

Meet the Authors of Start Talking

Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC, is a nationally known psychotherapist, author, public/keynote speaker, and television and radio commentator. She is a recent recipient of the esteemed Gracie Award in the Outstanding Talk Show - News category for her show “Classmates With Cancer” on Fox 26 in Houston. Her mission is to empower women and their families.

Rapini is the Love/Relationship writer for the Houston Chronicle City Brights on-line (http://blogs.chron.com/momhouston/) and is a contributing columnist for HealthNewsDigest.com. Rapini writes the "Ask Mary Jo" monthly column for Houston Family Magazine. Her advice has been featured in numerous other publications such as People, Cosmopolitan, Seventeen, Men's Health and Self.

Rapini is radio/TV savvy and captures audiences all over the country with her direct answers to real issues! She has been featured on "Big Medicine", which is in its second season on Discovery Health. Her regular segment "Body, Mind and Soul with Mary Jo" airs on Thursdays on FOX 26 Morning News Extra in Houston. She recently became a regular expert for HLN/CNN.

Her new weekly radio show, “Rebooting your MoJo with Mary Jo Rapini”, is part DivaToolbox.com’s show,“Across the kitchen Table.” She has appeared on many television programs including Today, Fox Morning News, Montel, and various Houston area shows to discuss topics such as holiday stress, prayer and healing, divorce and kids, children and traumatic experiences, and children and cancer.

She is an intimacy and sex counselor, and a certified anger management therapist. A mom with two daughters, her passion is helping all girls become strong women.

A popular speaker across the nation, Rapini's dynamic style is particularly engaging for those dealing with intimacy issues and relationship challenges, or those simply hanging on to unasked questions about sex in relationships.

Rapini is the author of Is God Pink? Dying to Heal and co-author with Janine Sherman of Start Talking: A Girl's Guide for You and Your Mom About Health, Sex or Whatever.

~ ~ ~

An OBGYN, board-certified, women's health nurse practitioner, Janine Sherman, MSN WHNP-BC specializes in preventative care and treatment of adolescents, teaching them about their bodies, and how to make wise decisions as they enter into womanhood. A large part of her practice is also educating mothers about what to expect as their daughters embark on the journey to sexual maturity and the importance of guiding them responsibly through this life-altering transition.

Sherman is a former faculty member at the School of Nursing at the University of Texas Health Science Center in Houston (where she also received her MSN). She worked at the Center for Immunization Research at the Johns Hopkins School of Public Health and has written numerous articles pertaining to pap tests, HPV testing, and the HPV vaccine.

She is a popular presenter on mother-daughter issues. Sherman is quoted in Girls' Life magazine in "Taking Chances," a GL Special Report.

Sherman has contributed to two text books: Women's Health Care Exemplar (2000) and Processes of Labor (2002). Start Talking: A Girl's Guide for You and Your Mom About Health, Sex or Whatever is her first general interest book.

Discover more at www.bayoupublishing.com or www.StartTalkingBook.com.

This article is reprinted from a media kit on KSB Promotions.

Review of 'Start Talking: A Girl's Guide for You and Your Mom about Health, Sex, or Whatever'

Start Talking: A Girl's Guide for You and Your Mom about Health, Sex, or Whatever

Book Blurb: A Q&A guide for mother-daughter conversations about female health and sexuality, this book targets both daughters and mothers. Start Talking contains more than 113 questions girls ask including questions about periods, sex, relationships, guys, eating, exercise, body development, along with similar questions verbalized by mothers. Each chapter contains basic information accompanied by real-life vignettes, questions and answers for moms, questions and answers for daughters, "Table Talk" suggestions for moms on how to engage each other around these topics. This book differs from books targeting just girls understanding their own bodies, and from books targeting just mothers on what they should know: it is deliberately meant to spark conversations.

My thoughts: 

This is the kind of book that I wish I had when I was a teenager and needed to talk to my mother about various issues. She was easy to talk to, but didn't always have a lot of the answers I was seeking. Other conversations were simply too embarrassing to try to have with her until I was older.

The book is divided into "Mom Questions" and "Daughter Questions," but both can benefit from reading all of the sections. There are also mock "Table Talk" sections that provide a sample conversation between a mother and her daughter about certain topics. No one should feel like they have to use a script for those conversations. Those sections make for good conversation starters.

Start Talking isn't just about sex. It also delves into friendships, relationships, self-image and self-worth. It's purpose is to open the doors of communication between parent and teenager, which can often be difficult. I think it is a good addition to the parenting library, starting in the tween years as body and emotional changes begin to occur.

Excerpt from Start Talking: A Girl's Guide for You and Your Mom about Health, Sex or Whatever

Mary Jo Rapini and Janine Sherman teamed up to write the book Start Talking: A Girl's Guide for You and Your Mom about Health, Sex or Whatever with the hope that mothers and daughter would feel more at ease speaking with each other about such topics. The following is an excerpt from the introduction of the book:

Introduction

Teens today, more than ever, face a myriad of issues involving sex and sexuality, self-esteem and body image. They need education; they need guidance; they need support to make the right decisions at the right time.

In our profession as women's health care providers, we've found that teens experience greater success through these difficult years when they have open communication with their mothers.

But we've also found that's not quite as simple as it sounds.

As women's health care providers we understand that daughters are commonly reluctant to approach their mothers for advice, for fear of punishment or lecture, or simply because they are embarrassed of the issue itself. They instead turn to their friends or the mass media, or avoid the issues all together, creating greater problems for themselves in the future.

And as mothers ourselves, we also understand that many of us are embarrassed to admit that despite our best intentions, we hesitate to engage our daughters in health-related dialogue. We either feel shy, inadequate, and poorly informed, or we have been so looking forward to such interactions with our daughters--anticipating with cherished thoughts how our conversations will go, only to discover that our teenage daughters are disinterested, busy, or outright offended.

So where are teen girls getting the little information they do have about health and sex? And what is it that they are concluding about health and sex and their bodies from these information sources? Adolescent girls learn about sex primarily from their conversations with their mothers, interactions with their peers, participation in school programs, and exposure to mass media, yet not necessarily in that order. All contribute to the knowledge our children receive about sex and their bodies; all are potential sources of conversation with our daughters....

As our children become more inquisitive and their lives become more complicated, these tasks can become far more challenging. Most of us find it uncomfortable when our daughters ask us questions about sex and their bodies. We often have difficulty teaching our daughters about sex because of our own discomfort and/or our own lack of knowledge. This uneasiness with the subject is often a reflection of the way that we were taught about sex by our own mothers, years earlier....

Peers. Adolescent girls exert a huge influence on each other. This is a time in a girl's life when she desperately wants to "fit in." Peers help each other "figure it all out." Teen girls can also be a fabulous resource for inaccurate information.

Young girls also get a lot of inaccurate information from their boyfriends -- whom they want to please -- about the risks of sexual activity. For example, a common myth believed by boys is that girls can't get pregnant "the first time."

Never underestimate the influence girls have on each other regarding the issue of body image. It's been noted, for instance, that eating disorders can "run in packs." Girls teach each other how to "do it" and encourage each other to stay skinny. The concern to "be popular" or "fit in" is far more important than taking care of their bodies. They find out what it means to be popular and to fit in, first and foremost from their buddies....

The goal of this book is to empower mothers and daughters with accurate and comprehensive knowledge so that they can have the open, relaxed, and informative conversations about sex and female health that every young woman needs and deserves. Mothers have the chance to directly shape their daughters? thought processes regarding their bodies, life choices, health and well being. The book also highlights the mother-daughter connection in helping girls to explore their passions and to focus their energies on self discovery.

For you mothers, table talk is a way of comfortably inviting your daughter into your beliefs and thoughts, and learning from her as well. For you daughters, table talk is a way of comfortably inviting your mother into your beliefs and thoughts, and learning from her as well. This book is designed for both moms and daughters alike. The information is meant to be shared. It is deliberately meant to spark conversations. Getting started with table talk can happen almost any place or time, just as this book describes.

Young girls deserve accurate information presented in a relaxed way by people whom they trust. They deserve straightforward answers to their questions. Moms deserve a chance to have engaging conversations with their daughters about life-critical issues.

Visit the book's website at http://www.starttalkingbook.com.

Visit author Mary Jo Rapini's website at http://www.maryjorapini.com/